A1C Haunts

7.1
That's Grace's latest A1C. As in today's endo appointment.
Her last A1C, in March of this year, a mere 4 months ago?
Was 6.4

What the hell happened and why do I feel like crap about it?
I know, I know, let me start the D Mama mantra of the following phrases...
It's not a grade!
You and Grace should be proud of that A1C!
It shouldn't be a reflection of self-worth or make you feel bad!
It just tells you what you need to do, it's just a guide and one piece of the puzzle.
You should see my son/daughters A1C, I would take 7.1 in a heartbeat!
A1Cs are just glimpses into what's going on with diabetes and your daughter.

I KNOW all of these things in my head, honest I do. I just don't feel them. Hell, I say those things to other D Mamas and Papas when they are disappointed in an A1C. Truthfully, it was like a kick in the gut. I wasn't even sure I could blog about it, how's that? I wasn't even sure I could list it in the sidebar of my blog, where I list all Grace's A1Cs since being diagnosed. I am super hard on myself. I see a goal and I am there. I see 7.0 and I say that I will get it below 7.0, just to make sure. Is anyone else feeling this? I work damn hard at this diabetes game. I'm a player - or should I be cool and say I'm - a - playa (now that statement makes me laugh out loud)
I learn, I do, I react, I change, I adjust.
Damn it, 7.1?

But I DO know why it's 7.1.
I was trying so hard to avoid lows, like the 29. Yeah, that appeared about a month ago, overzealously bolusing for pizza.

And Grace grew. Like a weed.
1 1/2 inches in the last three months and 4 3/4 inches in the last year alone. Yikes.

Growth spurt hormones leave Grace reeling with high blood sugars. I think the pre hormone game has begun around here and no matter if I bolus, adjusted basals and created temp basal increases, we had two good stretches of three weeks at a time of highs that I could not get down. Then like the wind that blew them into our diabetic life (nod to Meri for those words). The wind blew them out and we were back to stable BGs. Happened during two periods of time in the last 4 months.

So, the only way out of this is up, but not really, the only way out, for me, is to go back and revisit basals and come up with a solid plan for periods of growth in Grace's life. I need to know what to do when the highs hit from puberty and growth hormones and not-just-cause-we-SWAGed-that-meal-wrong and then  won't go away.

I need to know what to do in the storm that it feels like to me. The highs when they hit Grace's BGs feel like a storm to me, I cannot even imagine what it feels like for her. I want to get out of the hormone storm and know how to get out. I want to be able to teach her how to get out too, safely and calmly. I'm not sure I know the secret to getting out, but you'll be hearing more from me when I learn what to do.

I know where I will start.
Basal test.
Meet and plan with Gary.
Log like hell.
Note when the high BG storms start to hit.
Cross my fingers.
And get on with it.
Oh, and stop feeling so damn bad about it.