Well, despite plans for an upbeat post about my personal goals for 2012 I found myself faced with the squat presence of The Diabetes Toad today.
I was cleaning out the fridge with Frank, who loves the emptying out bit but then disappears for the cleaning!
I took a moment to remove the photos adorning the fridge door and found The Toad, waiting for me as I took in the pictures of my boy on this piece of furniture in my home.
A piece that I go to every day, multiple times.
And my breath was knocked out of me.
Again.
As I thought, "He didn't have Diabetes then..... or then ... oh, that's the holiday in Cornwall, he didn't have Diabetes there either ... or when he was eating that apple there in that cute picture ... oh ... oh, hello Diabetes Toad, you're back for a bit are you?"
And so it goes.
I well up and feel like crap and hate this disease that takes over our lives as well as too much shelf space in our fridge and home.
And yet ... and yet ...
He lives.
We live.
It is hard, but looking back in this way only encourages the Diabetes Toad and he's too big for his boots anyway.
Let's cut him down a peg or two.
So don't look back.
Except in love and acceptance.
The Diabetes Toad lurks for all of us, I know he does, but these days I can give him a nod and clean out the fridge and get on with my day.
An example of this for this very minute:
the full-on life force of Frank has just manifested itself by running into the room with his winter hat on backwards, arms stretched out sideways and saying "Ninja!" (we have a bit of a Scooby Doo & the Black Samurai fetish going on, especially in the build up the Chinese New Year too!) At this display the Diabetes Toad disappears in a puff of smoke and life is good.
Life is sweet.
I was cleaning out the fridge with Frank, who loves the emptying out bit but then disappears for the cleaning!
I took a moment to remove the photos adorning the fridge door and found The Toad, waiting for me as I took in the pictures of my boy on this piece of furniture in my home.
A piece that I go to every day, multiple times.
And my breath was knocked out of me.
Again.
As I thought, "He didn't have Diabetes then..... or then ... oh, that's the holiday in Cornwall, he didn't have Diabetes there either ... or when he was eating that apple there in that cute picture ... oh ... oh, hello Diabetes Toad, you're back for a bit are you?"
And so it goes.
I well up and feel like crap and hate this disease that takes over our lives as well as too much shelf space in our fridge and home.
And yet ... and yet ...
He lives.
We live.
It is hard, but looking back in this way only encourages the Diabetes Toad and he's too big for his boots anyway.
Let's cut him down a peg or two.
So don't look back.
Except in love and acceptance.
The Diabetes Toad lurks for all of us, I know he does, but these days I can give him a nod and clean out the fridge and get on with my day.
An example of this for this very minute:
the full-on life force of Frank has just manifested itself by running into the room with his winter hat on backwards, arms stretched out sideways and saying "Ninja!" (we have a bit of a Scooby Doo & the Black Samurai fetish going on, especially in the build up the Chinese New Year too!) At this display the Diabetes Toad disappears in a puff of smoke and life is good.
Life is sweet.
I end with a gratuitously cute picture of my boy, four years ago, in the bath, the spitting image of me at that age.
He didn't have Diabetes then either but that's OK.
Blessings and Toad-free days to all!
He didn't have Diabetes then either but that's OK.
Blessings and Toad-free days to all!
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