ships & seaside

Ah, Frinton beach on a bright October day.
Looks idyllic eh?
Certainly did from the windscreen of the camper van as I parked and then I couldn't open the door to get out as the wind was an Easterly and was a flippin' strong one!
I pushed with my shoulder and it slammed right back in my face.
But, I am British, we love a romp on the beach in such weather; the sky was blue, the waves were, um, choppy and we were anyway meeting with my friend Emily and her two boys Halim and Zakir.
We all braved the wind and walked from Frinton to Walton pier and back before picnicking in a shelter.
The running around did me good.
The wind in my face was such a tonic.
And I was able to wear, for the first time and for its inaugural visit to Frinton, my just-completed and much swooned over (only by me to be honest; it can be lonely being the only yarn botherer in the house!) ships & seaside cowl.
I have but recently discovered Stephanie Dosen's knitting patterns and just love the charm of them. She does admittedly look a bit more serene and dainty in her cowl than I do at 5'10" and windswept but the great thing about this cowl is it felt beautiful and was absolutely ideal in the strong East of England (the wind blew Emily's youngest Zakir, at barely three and quite petite anyway, clean off his feet and onto the sand!).

And here I am sooooo happily wearing it, along with many other layers and a real frozen smile!
And lastly, a picture of my boy, the one my heart beats for.
Every day.

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Back soon, with tales of ratio alterations : up, down, no up again, no too much down again. Sound familiar?!
And with a stonking soup recipe.
Lovely love to all and yes, I did get A LOT of oxygen at that beach and am a little high on it methinks ...

At Daymen's Hill Orchard

A few days ago Frank and I drove out towards Tiptree for a new adventure.
My friend Sue had told me of a family run fruit farm where you can pick your own apples and pears.
Moved to action by the evocative postings of some blogging friends in the US I wanted a little apple picking action of my own and in this Frank was a very willing partner.
It was just so very lovely.
The trees were groaning with the fruit and I filled a basket with pears and one with apples.
Notice Frank's stance here? He quickly adopted a defensive head-kind-of-down stance after being hit on the bonce one too many times as he pulled the fruit free.
This fruit was so very ready to fall it needed little encouragement!

Then he sloped off to eat blackberries direct from the bush whilst I paid and dreamt of all the yummy things I was going to make with all that fruit.
I so love autumn and it's days of plenty and those first signs of people lighting fires and wearing socks and scarves.

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And in the D-news we were at Addenbrooke's hospital for our quarterly pump clinic and check up and came away with some new ratios and some big smiles : 7.3.
Holding steady.

The Sky and River in Constable Country

Early this summer we made a family list of all the things we would like to do before summer drew to a close.

Well, today is 28th August and we finally got around to taking Frank out on the River Stour in a rowing boat.

We are all huge fans of The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame and love the stretch of water between Dedham and Flatford.

One can walk along the river from the pretty village of Dedham to Flatford along the Stour Valley.

One side of the river is in Essex and the other in Suffolk.

It is our go-to family walk for any occasion.

Once in Flatford there is the water mill and a fab tea room and cafe (always a winner!). The mill was famously painted by John Constable (and by this I mean he painted a picture of it not that he whitewashed it!!).

And if you have a look at his paintings he took such care over and put such detail into his skies. Big billowing clouds, shades of grey, blue and purple.

Wonderful stuff.

These pastoral scenes have become a little over-exposed as they have been used for placemats and tea towels and ties, much like Vincent's sunflowers.

I don't think it is fashionable to love Constable but as he painted the beauty of my home county I feel a great fondness for his work.

So, as you have a look at my two men in a boat, look also behind them to the trees, the willows dangling into the water and that big Constable sky.



They loved it.

Frank, of course, wanted to row and those huge oars weigh a ton for him so he resorted to sitting at the front and either shouting "Ahoy" to other people heading up the river or calling out "Fire the cannons" at them instead.

I sat smiling and hid behind my shades ...

We docked the boat back at the launch jetty and about three seconds later (with no exaggeration) the sky opened and it rained like mad for as long as it took us to run to the van!

We picnicked and steamed the van up as we dried and then drove home via McLaughlan's for sweetcorn fresh from the fields.

A lovely kind of day.

Randomness ... and a winner

Easter weekend has been amazing here and mostly because of the weather.

Hardly a cloud in the sky and hot, hot, hot.

The garden is already out of control and I can almost see the veggies growing. The chard from last summer is going to seed but as it's shooting flowers up so quickly I am letting it do so as I am fascinated by its strength and speed.

We have nettles you could lose a giraffe in and my chives are suddenly flowering in a big and blousy way.

Love it!

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I managed to finish this little sundress made from a pillow case that I picked up in a charity shop a while ago.

If I use the word "vintage" it will seem very desirable indeed!

I am going to send it to my sister's little girl, Nancy, who has the great red hair to go so well with these colours!

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We had Andrew's older children, Sarah and Tom, over today, along with their lovely Mum, Sue. Frank and all the rest of us enjoyed an Easter egg and Lindt bunny hunt in the garden.

I was just clearing up outside and found a couple of tiny, foil wrapped dark chocolate eggs that had been left in the sun.

I tried to pick them up very gently but they kind of exploded in my hand!

I was a chocolatey mess for a while there.

Rather befitting of the great chocolate festival that Easter has become.

Interestingly (and I am aware that I am playing fast and loose with that word here for some of you!) Frank's BG numbers have been in the low teens but holding steady, which is amazing as I have tried to make no references to him NOT having nibbles of chocolate today.

I just wanted to let him be.

To let him eat chocolate if he wanted to or leave it if he wanted to.

He isn't so bothered but I fear telling him he shouldn't and then seeing him really WANTING it because it's forbidden.

We'll see how that pans out in the future, hey?

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We also have a winner of the "breathe" poster.

As I only had five people interested I threw a dice.

Twice number six came up (!) and then came number two : Annicles.

So big congratulations to Anna.

If you could let me know your address I will pop it in the post to you as soon as I can.

I really hope you'll love it as much a I love mine.

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Also Andrew was just telling me that T1D friend he has adores the rather talented Tim Booth and met him today.

I was reminded of how much I love "James" and how I used to play this song at top volume in my classroom at the end of a long day, and only, I assure you, once all the kids were gone!

My, how it cleared the energy and brought joy rushing back in.

And we all need that.

What songs do that for you, I wonder?

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And my final act of randomness in my most random post to date is this:

I'm now off to watch "Ghostbusters".

Why?

It's such a fun film and I just heard Bill Murray say,

"Back off buddy, I'm a scientist".

It's going to be a great evening!

Springy Spring!

We have been enjoying amazing weather here and have been out and about enjoying the sun on our skin.

Spring has truly busted out and trees are heavy with blossom, flowers are blooming everywhere and Frank and I have enjoyed our first of many a big water fights in the garden.

He won as he had decided that I could use his teeny tiny water pistol and he could use the garden hose.

My, that water was cold!

Today I just wanted to share a couple of pictures from our week.

Colchester Castle and some of the flowers in the Castle Park.

Frank's latest portrait of his parents!

Hall Farm Restaurant and farm shop at Stratford St. Mary.

Great food, cute animals to look at, cool farm shop = fun morning out!

Post water fight, the winner does a victory lap of the garden!

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Back soon with a recipe for savoury biscuits.

Happy Eatser to you all!

Spring is here!

Oh, and it feels good to have the (albeit Northern European) sun on my face and even sometimes on my arms!

We have been having chaotic times with :

• the dining room emptied of all furniture, books and toys for a lovely guy called Jack to sand and varnish for us. It looks great but we have to wait a few days for it all to harden before life can return to normal.


• Frank and then myself developing nasty colds and coughs.


• Planting and digging in the garden (working on beetroot and spuds now)


• Nature walks with my boy


• rhubarb from the garden, which I'm going to stew with orange juice and have with yoghurt and granola. Drool, drool!

Happy Spring to you all!

P.S. I am intending to make a vlog sometime showing what we carry around with us. Jen and Reyna and others in the DOC have done great ones. I am going to wait until I get my voice back as I sound like I smoke forty a day with this cough!

This was the week that ...

...saw such wonderful Spring weather that we found loads of ladybirds sunning themselves in the garden and couldn't resist letting them crawl over our hands (I was secretly daring this one to try to nip Frank's finger! He has such tough fingers the ladybird would probably hurt itself more trying!!). ... saw us drinking green smoothies, although, to be honest this has now stopped. Frank objected to the colour, Andrew wasn't fussed and I am avoiding raw food for while (more on that soon).

... saw me completing my Reiki II course and loving it. (Thanks Meg, Lisa and Liz!)

... saw Frank and I planting garlic, and masses of it, in the garden. There will be no vampires on this side of town!

... saw Andrew and I planning a camping trip to Devon. Cream teas! Oh yes!

... saw me so tired that I could barely function. I need to sleep ... but wait a moment, maybe sleep isn't what I need (more on this later in the week)

... saw me changing Franks pump alone (twice!) and Frank not crying but looking at me and saying, "It didn't even hurt".

It has been a busy week full of activity and joy.

The house is neglected as is only good and proper during a week of such balmy temperatures that we have been outside most of the time.

Frank's BGs have been understandable rather than random and long may that continue.

All is busy but well on Muffinmoon Mountain.

Goodnight all!

Back soon (I won't leave it a week this time).

Our week so far

Ok, so, here we are, Thursday evening and posting, finally, after a humdinger of a week (and it's not even over ...).

We made it to the hospital with both myself and Andrew having stomach pains due to stress. Once there we were greeted by Claire the fantabulous Diabetes Specialist Nurse (who has herself been Type 1 for 26 years. She looks about 12 so I have no idea how that is even possible!).

We then spent three hours with her and three other families learning how to navigate the Starship Enterprise, er, sorry , the Medtronic pump.

It went really well.

The other families were really committed, like us, to looking Diabetes in the eye and making their children's lives as healthy as possible. They too were freaked out and out of their comfort zones (if indeed poking your child to the point of bleeding several times a day can EVER be termed a comfort zone).

We played with the pump, had a go at changing the reservoir or setting it up and then I got to wear it for a while and showed Frank how it was inserted.

By twelve thirty we were left to take our box of goodies home and practise, practise, practise.

We have saline solution to use and Frank needs to get used to wearing it and will still need injections for this week.

After the hospital we broke the journey home by pulling in for a picnic in the camper van at a country park just outside Cambridge.

The sun was shining.

It was one of those days that herald the Spring and we loved strolling around (with sticks, in Frank's case) the 2,400 year old site (it had been an encampment and the earth is maintained to show the shape of the camp). If those dates make your jaw drop just think of the cheap motel we stayed in the night before that was right next to a Bronze Age burial ground, some 8,000 years old (give or take a month or two!).

This was all very grounding after a morning of huge learning.
Then it got interesting ...
On the way home my stomach began to feel unsettled and after about half an hour I pulled over and .. er .. lost my lunch.
Andrew took over the driving and I tried to lay a flat as I could, moaning on the back seat as he headed home.
Never has a journey felt so long.
Once home I made a dash for the bathroom and after an hour or so went to bed and dozed.
All plans to look at the pump went out the window with my lunch.
Next day Andrew had to work and I was OK but weak.
The only thing I had eaten that was different to the boys was a tuna bean salad.
Damn those ready made salads!

Then to round off the three days of lively times Andrew came home on Wednesday with a letter notifying him of the fact that he has six weeks until he will be made redundant.
However, we are fine!
One would think that this would be the worst week to hear such news but no.
Having a child with Type 1 Diabetes, for me anyway, puts much of life's other difficulties in perspective.
It's not as trite as the awful"don't sweat the small stuff" idea but there is a sense of gentle perspective.
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All will be well.
All will be well.
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Tomorrow we try the pump on Frank for 24 hours and then again as much as we can after that.
Next Wednesday we go "live".
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Let's hear it again:
All will be well.
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I am hosting my book group here tomorrow evening.
I chose Laura Ingalls Wilder's "The Little House in the Big Woods" and "The Little House on the Prairie".
Reading these books brings perspective too.
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Love to all and huge great big and enormous thanks to all who wished us well.
Thank you.
I am so grateful for you.

Riding the Dragon Tree

Frank and I headed out to Cudmore Grove on Mersea Island this week.

It was a balmy January day and, after what felt like weeks inside, sunshine on our skin and the sea air did us all power of good.

As you can see, East Anglia is flat and I just love the big skies.

Look at that blue!

So healing. Once on the beach we found this fantastic dried piece of wood and Frank flew it up into the air like the children in one of our favourite books.
Then we larked about on the beach.
I have seen seals off this beach and love it here.
This day we saw all of six other people.

Bliss is a wooden dragon ride with a view ...

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Thanks for all your positive comments about the pump arriving.
We got all excited, took photos and then saw the size of the manual.
Gulp!
It's now all back in its box waiting for training day.
I will look at the manual before that but it feels like being given a space ship and a manual and being left to work it out.
I know, from my years as a teacher, that I am intrinsically a team player.
I like to discuss and confirm and learn best that way.
Bring on the training!
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Back very soon with crafty updates.
I've been sewing and have even been knitting cables, yes, cables baby!

Not sure what the question is ...

... but I know the answer and mostly the answer is to get out in nature.

Frank has had Type 1 Diabetes now for exactly half his life.

He was diagnosed at 27 months of age and we have now enjoyed the company of the badly behaved house guest T1D for 27 months.

The weather here has been cold and grey but yesterday saw us heading out for a little family trip to Friday Woods near our home and stomping about in the mud.

We ran around, got very muddy, jumped in the many puddles and then wandered back to our camper van for homemade hot chocolate (milk and chopped up 70% chocolate plus a little raw cocoa for sprinkling - I figure if the boy won't eat spinach he can have raw cocoa for iron instead!!) and ginger biscuits. It was very healing and calming.

I have been feeling a bit blah for a couple of weeks and am only now beginning to come out of it.

Stomping around in mud helped a great deal and I would highly recommend it!
Another great puddle awaiting its fate from the Boy Wonder.

The hills are alive with the sound of stomping.

Friday Woods.

My boys.

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On another topic, thank you to everyone that commented on my post about our wet nights.

I had really thought we were alone on that one as I know no one else going through it.

Should have asked you guys months ago, hey?

Big British hugs to all (that's with a cup of tea in one hand and wearing a bowler hat. We all wear bowler hats ...).

Whimsy

So, it's mid-November and many of you are slogging your way through a month of posting every day. My thoughts are with you a lot over this and I am in awe of anyone that can do it.

For a little light relief I offer you a perfectly formed example of English Whimsy!

Brace yourselves for ..... drum roll .....

THE HEDGEHOG HOUSE!!!! I kid you not. We had considered chickens for a long time but decided that a) as Frank is a bit scared of them at the moment and b) Mr Muffinmoon doesn't eat eggs that we might be better off with a hedgehog.
OK, so it won't help us with omelettes or cakes or even company but how seriously COOL is it to have a hedgehog house in your garden?

And it only cost us Mr Muffinmoon's time as he is a master at cobbling things together from bits of wood lying around. We figured the hedgehog wouldn't mind so much whether Martha Stewart had been in to decorate.

It sits awaiting an owner towards the back of the garden and in the shade of our neighbour's oak tree.

We have covered it in soil and leaves and hope to report back with evening sightings of our hedgehog.

Happy Hedgehog Monday to you all!

There goes my heart

We went out for a walk today, my boy and I, to find treasures (leaves, acorns etc) and to pick blackberries.

He wore his new nature bag and his tiger mask that he spent ages colouring in.

As we reached a wide open space he looked across the ploughed field and wondered out loud what the name of the tractor was that had ploughed it. I stood still and took this picture and thought, "There goes my heart".

Sure he can push his luck at times. He has me up twice most nights. I am tired most of the time. He won't eat his veg.

But he is my heart.

Growing up and running around and colouring a tiger mask to scare Daddy when he gets home.

And I often think of that beautiful poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning:

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach.

So, no sad, mawkish prose today.

Diabetes is always with us.

Sometimes it takes centre stage and sometimes it is blasted to the back row by the sheer force of life coming from this small child and from the love I have for him.

My only baby.

And this evening I wish you all many moments like these.

Moments where D takes a back seat to living well and loving each other.

Me time

In the half-sorted summer house I have managed a little "me time" this week.Sometimes, in all honesty, this has only meant that I have sat staring at the wall with a cup of tea.

Sometimes I get things done.

A couple of days ago I cut off the legs of a pair of old jeans and made two little "Nature Bags"; one for Frank and one for the child of a friend.

They are worn messenger style and are for all the little conkers, acorns, leaves and feathers Frank tends to pick up when we are out and about.

Frank seems really taken with his little bag and is filling it with all kinds of things that then make their way to the nature table (some get removed by me, held at arms length; he is a boy after all and is fascinated with all kinds of gross things!!) And today I've had another couple of hours and ran up these cute little trousers for my boy to wear around the house.

I love this soft flannel and love checks but they do look so much like pyjamas that I fear he'll get comments if I let him out in them.

I have in image in my head, however, of he and I in front of The Wind in the Willows on DVD and the fire glowing in the grate as we snuggle up on late Autumn evenings.

I hope you are getting a little "me time" here and there and would love to hear what you are doing with it.

Days of Plenty

Guess what we did today? Guess who had a full basket and who only had around a dozen raspberries in his basket, after an hour of picking, but a decidedly sticky, smeary face?
Guess how many seconds it took for all these raspberries to start to turn to mush and be fit only for jam?

Guess who is spending this humid, sticky evening boiling and preserving?


Guess who didn't even notice the sharps bin in this shot until it was uploaded?

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Today made me smile.
I have been reading these books and this blog and am channelling them all with my home made jammin' whilst listening to this.

What is making you smile today?

A Good Day

You know it's been a good day for a little guy when this is what you find at the end of the day whilst watering the garden.

We have been digging up some of the lawn to extend the patio and put a pergola up and the pile of earth has become Frank's favourite spot.

He digs and hides treasure.

He stands up there at the top of it and looks off into the distance as I imagine our ancestors did many moons ago.

All his clothes have to go in the wash at the end of a day like this.

He leaves a tide mark around the bath.

The best kind of day.

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Thank you for all your good wishes for Frank's birthday last week.

It was such a special time.

Dream a little dream ...

When Frank was twelve weeks old we took him to mainland Europe for three months in our camper van, doing a mixture of camping, hotels and staying with friends as we visited Denmark, Germany, Poland, the Czech Republic and the Netherlands.

It was an amazing trip.

He was totally portable and I was breastfeeding.

I had been informed by the medical profession that we could never have children naturally (long story).

I was thirty eight and trying to resign myself to the fact.

I wasn't doing very well at that.

In the Autumn of 2006 I kept feeling so tired that I would fall asleep every afternoon after teaching in the morning.

I was convinced I was ill and joined a gym to get some energy back.

At eight weeks pregnant the penny finally dropped and I took a test.

I sobbed like a mad woman when it came out positive.

Took another and cried again. From that moment I was so full of the sheer joys and possibilities of life that I felt invincible.

I had a fantastic pregnancy and Frank was born without problems.

I felt proud I'd only needed gas and air, especially as he was 8lbs8oz , although I admit they had to prise the gas/air syphon thing out of my hand!

Then when we got home from our great trip my husband suffered a kind of long period of depression, which took a huge toll on me as a new Mum. He couldn't function some days.

It was like having two babies.

Horrible for both of us.

Then he turned a small corner and started to feel better.

A month after that Frank was diagnosed with Type 1.

Forgive me but I cannot dare to "dream a little dream..".

I try to never actively think about the idea of a cure. It is like wishing for the moon.
I will do as much as I can to support research into finding a cure.

I have to use my energy keeping my boy alive and healthy.

It is 21:39pm. Frank sleeps. He has just gone too low in his sleep, no doubt the results of a lovely time out in the woods today. He has had juice.

A cure? I don't dare imagine.

BUT I was told categorically that I would not have children ...

I have a kernel of hope but cannot write about it yet. Too raw. Too huge. Too painful.

I am so lucky to have this amazing little boy in my life, whose energy and diabetes make me a better person every day.

I have had an emotional week this week, the Diabetes Blog Week coinciding with my husband being away.

Writing about diabetes every day has weirdly done me good.

It has forced me to examine my feelings and I find that I am stronger than I thought.

I have met new friends and gained new insight into dealing with this condition.

I have felt a bit abandoned on the one hand but then also SO VERY supported.

With a full heart I thank you all for an unforgettable week.

Let's Get Moving

Looking through my photos for pictures of activity I was happy to find loads. This one is of Frank running through the Autumn leaves after our three monthly check at the hospital. We park at a local Country Park and run around a bit before and afterwards.

It works for all of us, for me in terms of finding balance, and is a five minute walk to the hospital.

We are a family with about six bikes, maybe seven.

Strange to not know the exact number, you'd think? But some are in states of half repair and some are just about hanging together.

Some we use every day.

We walk and cycle most places in our town.

When we drive we take our camper van.

We do no formal exercise. No gyms. No classes, although yoga for me is coming up soon.


Frank always calls "race you!" whenever we go anywhere and we have to race to the next lamppost or postbox or corner. This is him in Brittany on Christmas Day. He and I went for a walk whilst Budd cooked the lunch. See how far ahead he is. He is FAST!


We munch apples and eat oatcakes on walks to keep levels steady.

We make up stories as we walk or Frank finds a good stick and does some magic with it, turning us into different animals so we have to flutter like butterflies or oink like pigs.
(For those of you reading this and imagining this three year old walk everywhere, rest assured, he gets carried a lot too!).

We go out and about as much as we can, visiting farms ...

and beaches.

And more beaches.

I am aware of how important a fit and healthy body is for people with diabetes. I want to set Frank up for an active life and here in the UK we are able to walk to town, walk to the local shops, walk to the library and we do it all the time.

However, there are also days when I am tired and cannot race Frank very fast.

There is space for improvement in caring for myself.

That's the bit I find hard at the moment.